Not So Fast: Slow-Down Solutions for Frenzied Families

I’ve recently consolidated my websites and no longer maintenance this one. The exact same resources have been duplicated at my author blog, annkroeker.com. Click on the “Not So Fast” button and explore the drop-down menu to find all of the info found here.

Similarly, all posts—those from this website as well as new ones—directly related to slowing down in our fast-paced world are now categorized under “Not So Fast” at my author blog.

See you there!

Ann

One way to simplify is to consolidate.

Recently I simplified my online life by switching my personal/author website from free WordPress to a self-hosted blog.

One reason I did this was to consolidate two sites into one—copying over the Not So Fast material to my cozy new home on the Web. Now you’ll find the main pages from this site organized under a “Not So Fast” navigational button at annkroeker.com (a.k.a., “annkroeker.writer.”).

From this point forward, any new posts I compose about slowing down in this fast-paced world will now be published at annkroeker.writer., organized under the “Not So Fast” category. Eventually I’ll copy over all the material here—also using the “Not So Fast” category for easy sorting—and this site will remain accessible, but not very lively.

My faithful Not So Fast readers have tolerated my dry spells with grace. Thank you for your kindness.

When you have a minute, you’re cordially invited to visit me at my new digs.

Photo by Ezran Kamal via stock.xchng.

NotSoFastBook.com can be found at this link

All names were written on squares of paper, folded and placed in the official “slow down” hat:

Name was drawn under strict “no peeking” guidelines to ensure randomness:

The winner, formally announced at 9:59 p.m. (instead of a.m., as originally planned), is Megan of SortaCrunchy!

Congratulations to Megan and a big thank-you to all who entered. Here are the reader ideas:

Mom’s Magic wrote:

We are working on a whole-house paring down – getting rid of the ‘stuff’ that fills up our lives and wastes our time, keeping only useful or very meaningful items. We are spending more time tending to our garden plots and playing in the backyard – enjoying our time together, even if it means the kids are up a little late (yay for summer!). And we are (hopefully) teaching our children lessons about what’s really important.

Beth of Zoo Reflections wrote:

Our kids’ elementary school is considered a “Green School” by our county. They have many things they do to promote energy conservation, recycling, etc. One way, that we also now use at home, is “Power Rangers”. They turn out the lights when you leave the room. Such a small step, but it can save a ton! Recycling is also big with us. The bins are always more full than our trash!

Donna of Doorway to Hope wrote:

“Slowing green” is a great description of what is unfolding in my life:

* My family moved into a community where we can walk to the grocery store and other destinations for errands.

* I planted veggies and herbs in my small yard, which is not treated with pesticides and other products to make it look ‘perfect.’

* We take walks and chat with neighbors and breathe deeply and chat longer and take time for daydreaming…

* We continue to learn about and practice “slowing green.”

Megan of Sorta Crunchy wrote:

Yes, yes, yes! I could not possibly agree more with you, Tracey! For me, creation care absolutely means slowing down and living thoughtfully and intentionally. We don’t have a dishwasher. I always thought I would die without one, but I’ve learned to embrace it. We could somehow wedge one into our 1930s era kitchen, but they suck up SO much energy. I truly enjoy slowing down at the sink to reflect as I wash dishes by hand – and the fact that I am able to control the water and energy usage is a beautiful by-product of that.

Photos by Ann Kroeker © 2010.

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I met Tracey Bianchi earlier this year at the Festival of Faith & Writing. As we introduced ourselves, she recognized my name as the author of The Contemplative Mom, a book she had been given many years ago when she was a new mom.

With the fun of connecting as moms and writers, we immediately swapped our current books: she handed me a copy of her just-released Green Mama, and I gave her Not So Fast.

Tracey invited me serve as one of several hosts for her blog tour, offering to write a slow-themed post that I can share with Not So Fast readers. After you read her guest post below, leave a comment describing some of the ways you “go green” to be entered to win a free copy of her book, Green Mama: The Guilt-Free Guide to Helping You and Your Kids Save the Planet.

If you tweet this link, I’ll toss in another entry for you (only one bonus entry per person, but feel free to tweet as often as you like!).

Contest ends Saturday morning, June 19, 9:00 a.m. (giveaway is now closed)

Without further ado, meet Tracey Bianchi:

Going Green by Slowing Down

by Tracey Bianchi

My four-year old has endless questions about traffic these days. Why do cars stop or go? What about caution signs? Why do we either slam on the brakes or go crazy fast at yellow? What is rush hour? The one signal he has no query about is green.

“Green means go, go, go!”

He often hollers this as if our trip to Target was tantamount to the Indy 500.

Green means go. Whether traffic signals or that childhood game, Red Light/Green Light. Green is associated with movement, activity, permission to get on with it. Even our money is green and with the right amount of that hue you can sprint off to just about anywhere.

But can green ever signal slowing down our lives?

With the burgeoning green trend in our culture, the one connected to eco-friendly, save the planet  chatter, living into this new shade of green might also provide another avenue to stop racing through life and start relaxing into God’s rhythms.

Perhaps you simply think about recycling when you hear the words green living. You may also associate the trend with a new “to do” list that now includes organic gardening and composting. Many families I know find eco-ideas incredibly guilt-provoking and stressful.

However, an honest, greener faith is actually about embracing simplicity. Overhauling our lifestyles so that we can pursue healthy families, deeper communities, and enjoy God’s planet. It is about slowing down to see what is truly most important.

To “go green” is to reflect wisely on what we buy, how we shop, where we drive, and how we move through life. Which is to say going green is also slowing down. Perhaps we should re-title the trend, “slowing green.”

Greener living dovetails beautifully with the conversation Ann brings forward in her new book, one that embraces simplicity and wisdom rather than chasing elusive trends and cultural icons of success.

So, what does a slower, greener life look like?

A greener afternoon might be one where you or your family walk to your destinations rather than drive. Take your time, talk as you saunter along and save on your CO2 emissions in the process. Green might mean staying out of the malls and playing at home. Curbing our consumption is one of the most planet friendly maneuvers we can make. Buy less, shop less, stick together at home more.

Plant a tree, spend the day at a park or take a hike. All less anxiety producing than jockeying for position on three traveling teams in one afternoon.

Let your children get dirty. Help them to fall in love with God’s Creation, with the mud and the muck, the dirt of the earth. Help them live into the Genesis narrative by enjoying all that God says is good. Muddy faces and skinned knees indicate time well spent. Moments in the trees rather than in classes, the carpool, or the over-achieving lane.

So take another look at “going green” and in it you might find a deeper invitation to slow down a bit and breathe deeply of God’s green life.

Tracey Bianchi is the author of “Green Mama: The Guilt Free Guide to Helping You and Your Kids Save the Planet. She is the mother of three and an author, speaker, and women’s ministry director. You can find more of her musings on life, faith and sustainability at http://traceybianchi.com. You can find her new book at here: http://tinyurl.com/3xzvpnx

“The Green Light” photo by Ted Percival. Available for download under a Creative Commons license through Flickr.

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“I don’t know how you do all you do!”

Compliments like these cause me to evaluate if I unwittingly parade “all I do” around specifically so I can get accolades from others. I hope not!

The truth is, I don’t do *any* of the many things I do well. (Even now, a part of me wants to list them all for you, so you can know what I mean. The other part of me–the suspicious part of me–thinks this would merely be a perverse attempt to win yet more accolades and encouragement…so I will restrain myself!)

What if my busyness (something that is celebrated and respected in our culture) is just another way to keep from being in the present moment?

What if God wants me to be still and know that he is God?

Be still and know that I am not?…

Read all of  “Busyness – My Refusal to Rest in the Lord” HERE.

“Yogurt” photo by “MOEVIEW”/Aaron Molina. Available on Flickr under a Creative Commons license.

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In a recent post, Leila shares her secrets for staying cool without AC.

Among many other simple, creative, frugal ideas for keeping the heat out and the breezes blowing, she adds:

In the hot hours everyone can be reading, and that is a good, good thing.

Keep your lemonade cold and take the hot days a bit slower, rather than trying to obliterate them.

I love living without AC, too, but my husband is rather fond of it. I’m going to incorporate her ideas and see if I can persuade him to do without.

Read all of “Living without AC and liking it“

Iced tea photo by Leila.

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My eldest daughter recently completed driver’s ed classes, where they showed the students sobering movies of terrifying wrecks—cars crumpled in accidents caused by speeding, DUI, and distracted drivers.

The instructor also warned the students that if they drove even a tiny bit over the speed limit on the drive test, they would fail.

This input combined with the fact that my daughter is a naturally cautious, rules-oriented person, has resulted in a “not so fast” beginning driver.

For now, she strictly observes the speed limit, which is of course the right, safe, and wise thing to do.

But when she’s driving us somewhere, we’re always five to ten minutes late.

It’s revealing. Humbling, too. Apparently I’ve been pushing the speed limit more than I realized, leaving the house knowing how I can make it to an appointment on time even at the last minute.

For example, unlike my daughter, I speed up a little to try to catch a green light instead of continuing at a steady pace and stopping as soon as it turns yellow.

Unlike my daughter, I look for an opening and move around someone who’s driving under the speed limit on a four lane road. Sometimes she will simply adjust to the slower driver’s speed and contentedly follow at his leisurely pace.

When I spot a slower speed limit sign, I wait until I’m at the sign to adjust my speed; she brakes early to be at the limit by the time she arrives at the sign.

I accelerate faster at intersections and execute my turns speedier.

I didn’t notice my tendencies until my daughter sat behind the wheel and I found myself wanting to urge her to make the light or maneuver around a poky driver. I’m restraining myself, but it’s hard. We live in a metropolitan area where people feel rushed. Now I see that I’ve been rushing along with everyone else much more than I knew.

Instead of being frustrated with my careful daughter’s driving habits, I applaud them.

And I’m trying to correct my own.

Also, we’re leaving about ten minutes earlier to appointments. I should be doing that anyway instead of zipping around cars and pushing to make every light.

My daughter is modeling great habits, reminding me to slow down and enjoy the ride.

Speed Bump Suggestion: Gain more awareness of driving habits by setting your cruise control to the posted speed limit!

“drive slow” photo by TheTruthAbout… Available on Flickr under a Creative Commons license.

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It was one of those days.

I felt like I was going to scream because I’d been cooped up in the house with a two kids, had a work deadline breathing down my neck, AND could feel a sinus infection coming on.

The day had started pretty well. That morning, seven year-old Jordan, two year-old Jackson, and I were cuddling on the bed and Jordan said, “Jackson is so cute I could die!”

Contented sigh.

I enjoyed it.

Fully.

And it was all downhill from there. Later that day, Jordan and Jax were playing with markers. At one point, I looked over and Jordan had scribbled “kick me” on Jax’s lower back above his diaper. I had to laugh, but I also had to work at getting the marker off with an unscheduled bath.

As for the newly-tattooed toddler, his day was spent screaming at the top of his lungs, taking off his diaper and laughing hysterically as he ran away from me and repeatedly calling me a “poopyhead”.

I found myself saying all sorts of things that day–phrases I’d never imagined saying before I became a mom…

Read the rest of Dena Dyer’s story about how she slowed down and received grace that helped the crazies go away.

Click here: Dena Dyer of Mother Inferior.

Photo of Dena Dyer.

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But we don’t often find those people in our neighborhood.

So I love finding slow-down camaraderie and inspiration online.

May I introduce you to some like-minded, slow-down, not-so-fast bloggers?

1. Aimee of Living, Learning and Loving Simply. Recent examples of Aimee’s slower approach to life include her recently completed Buy Nothing experiment and a post in which she wrote from her heart, sorting through the conflict of driving fast. “I just seem to rush, rush, rush whenever I drive…it’s all catching up with me,” she wrote. “I really want to…figure out why I drive my car and myself so hard. I am so weary of having my default setting being anxiety-driven.”
2. Sara of Walk Slowly, Live Wildly. Writer, photographer, unschooler, tea drinker, “Happy Foody,” modern nomad, and daughter of the Almighty, Sara and her family live in an RV powered by veggie oil.
3. Ann of Holy Experience. Slip over to Ann’s blog sometime and find a calm, quiet online oasis where she invites readers to consider quiet thoughts, reflections, and insights flowing from her relationship with Christ. Beautiful photography mingles with poetic words that chronicle her family’s days, as she and her husband raise six kids on their Canadian farm.
4. Marci of Overcoming Busy. Committed to helping families find resources they need to live a slower life, Marci revamped her website to offer easy access to practical information and inspiration.
5. Andrea of Flourishing Mother. When I stumbled on Andrea’s blog many years ago, I loved how she processed and revealed her inner struggles, joys and revelations in words. Her posts were short but struck me as the honest journey of a busy mom willing to live differently (slower) in order to have a rich life with her family and a rich faith with the Lord.
6. Jane Anne of Gravity of Motion. Jane Anne explains in her own words, “[the phrase 'Gravity of Motion'] reminds me to take inventory of what I am doing day-to-day. If I try to do everything that interests me, my life gets too busy. When I try to do too much, I cannot excel at anything.” She often offers slow-down solutions or insights from her own life. (Side note: she named the boy on the cover of Not So Fast “Henry” in my online naming contest.)
7. Jennifer of Getting Down with Jesus. From her “About Me” section, Jennifer explains, “I share my unexpected encounters with God in sometimes-crazy, sometimes-serious places. Like the altar … or the bathroom. I explore the ways God does His Thing in the ordinary-ness of life.” But when I arrive at her blog, I find that she is living an attentive life that can only process things the way she does because she slows down and takes time to pray, ponder, and creatively compose her conclusions.

Those are just a few of the people and places I visit. How about you?

Where do you go to find inspiration for living out this slow-down vision in a fast-paced world?

“Slow Motion” photo by Eric Wüstenhagen. Available through Flickr via Creative Commons license.

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What does it take to really slow down and unplug?

Abraham Verghese tried it on vacation. After two days of lounging in the slowness, the barnacles finally fell off.

Click HERE to read the entire article.

“Wrack and Barnacle” photo by Eric Heupel, August 9, 2009. Available for download on Flickr and sharing through a Creative Commons license.

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